Grand Theft Auto 4 is a waste of my time and yours

98%. This is the overall score for Grand Theft Auto 4. As a reviewer, It is their job to play the entire game and then come up with their own conclusions. It's GTA4 though. Who in their right mind is going to give it a score below 90%? I would.

Gameplay:

Rockstar has fucked up. plain and simple. What used to be an interactive amusement park, filled with endless mayhem and inventive time-wasting crap is now a wasteland. Imagine working on a fully interactive world for years on end and then forgetting to put an actual game inside? This is the world of GTA 4. Outside of the main missions [read as repetitive bullshit] there is the friendship system which is boring beyond words.Your in-game friends will phone you to ask you out on dates or activites. Bowling, Darts, drinking, and pool. All fucking, FUCKING boring after the first time. Especially with the AI. Thank god they included a skip opponents turn option. the only upside to these friends missions is the ability to unlock beneifts such as low priced weapons and free cabs. However, money is both plentiful and irrelivent, so fuck that then? Next up, controls. Copying from gears of war, GTA 4 has a cover system which works only until you need it. And not from close up either. Aiming can be toggled between full auto and manual, but just keep it on manual and you will easily level the playing field. Niko runs around nicely but jumps like a faggot on crack. There is a cellphone, which acts as the glue holding together the gameplay and missions. This also sucks cock, as friends and enemies will call at the worst times and especially during a mission. What else... oh the cars. Fucking grizzeled cunt missle is a nice adjective to use. They ride like iceblocks on butter. Very hard to manuever. Overall, gameplay is unrefined and stale. A 4/10 as you can still fuck hookers and then steal your money from their dead corpses.

Graphics:

Average. The city looks fine and everyone has a vasline shine to them for some reason but other then that, it looks pretty. This is where R* really excells. There are 1000's of little touches in this game. Niko himself is a bonanza of animation and running into pedestrians is always a good laff. The City looks like a mini-New York so good job. all though next time, how about a new city from your imagination? A 7/10 is resonable.

Sound:

Great stuff. The voice acting is pleasent and there are countless pedestrian vocal snippets. The radio stations become boring after a while though, as does the TV. also 7/10.

Story:

Utter fucking shit. Starts out so well and then degenerates into a mess. Niko is supposed to be this confused ex-soldier who needs to redeem himself in his own eyes, but at the end of the game *SPOILER* nothing has changed. There is a "big" revelation which is a binary choice adding nothing to the game or the final outcome. People come and go, adding nothing to the story. I expected so much :( Oh and Kate is a tight bitch who never lets you dip one in her sweat box. Just ignore her. *END SPOILERS* 1/10 for their effort.

Multiplayer:

I dont have Xbox live :( But GTA 4 is only number 3 on the LIVE charts so it cant be that great. Halo 3 is more then likely better. The stories I heard about the multiplayer do not sound promising.

Overall:

The Story and the gameplay sucks, like most next-gen titles. What a suprise. Next time R*, something new and innovative hey?

Lips

Here is a pic of the shit hole Xbox exclusive add-ons for the 360. Like it needs to target the casual market. Fuck that Xbox! Stick to your motherfucking guns! More Gears and more Halo and moan fuck shit piss.

Dinner

Dinner at the Gourmet Burger on Long st was amazing. We all had Peroni's and a tasty burger. Mine was Blue Cheese/Well Done same as my dad. Judi's was chicken and berry sauce, yet it looked tasty as well. I wish I had a new and interesting game for the Xbox.

Sad and Mad

My lady is sad and mad. Sad as her mum is stressed and mad because her family are insufferable morons, much like a great deal of mine. I can only hope that a concentration of my love for her will set her right. And rotating cowboy style sexy time.

Home

I'm hungry as hell and me dad is taking Judi and I for dinner at some pub. Looking forward to it and Judi looks more forwarder to it then i do. Cute man.

Scribe

Just a test with Scribefire addon.

Easy

Its easy to leave your job. Give them a minutes notice and then don't show up for work the next day. My work at the Q was meaningless. Slaving long hours away from my Judi just to fulfill the needs of the rich and useless. My patience reached its zenith one week ago and now I am working as a chief copywriter for a fantastic media company. There are no words to describe how much better I feel about myself. The pay remains the same but the work keeps my brain intact and demands only effort, not physical fortitude. Writing is what I was born to do and I exact a career out of its wet, meaty shell.

I hope that Q is suffering now, but their staff turnover is high and I doubt my absence has knocked them out of their insufferable tempo. Mark my words, I will never participate in a customer service related position ever again. I have had my fill of sucking cock for a living. I will be leaving at 5pm today and man, what a treat that is. The weather is warm now and the sun shines happily outside my office window as I compose this entry. Judi is in parliament now, unfortunately for her she still needs to grovel a bit to the Man but she makes more then I do so all is forgiven :)

GTA 4 was an abominable piece of shit. Too short, too easy and too little to do inside its "sandbox" world. It was as if they had the technology but they forgot to add the fun. I do not have Xbox live anymore so I cant test the multiplayer option, yet I know that running around aimlessly inside the ghost town of Liberty city can't be all the appeassing. Lets pray Unreal Torunament 3 provides me with the happiness I so crave. Until Gears of war 2 that is.