Tamagotchis

Did you ever notice how if you put two girlfdriends together they start to interact like Tamagotchies? All the bleebing and shit. Its crazy.

The Beard of Shame

Here is Stage 1 of the beard. Is it lovely?


FULL SIZE BEAUTY AND SEXY TEETH BABY!
And the beard is mighty as a rock.

I play it Cold

Morning. Some of you may have trouble enjoying my favourite 'obby. Which is having a sneaky "J". Here is a pictorial instruction blog for the less skilled tokers out there to enjoy.

Step 1: Maul it.

Step 2: Roll it.

Step 3: Smoke it.

Wasn't that easy? Happy toking. And happy something day. Its another holiday that the government pulled out of their asshole. Not that I'm complaining. I'm unemployed!

This

Is how you waste time.

Sand in your vagina

My girlfriend made an unannounced visit. And Lo and behold my mother was acting normal as well. The day has been boring. Alan came over. We had a drink and a Smoke and a laff. I played some Need for Speed: Carbon. Chatted some on Mxit. Now I'm eating a Bar-one.

The Logo

The Logo is sexy. prove me wrong.

Rainy Spleef

Just toked me a marvellous rainy day Spleef. Fuck its hard to Mxit (SA only chat app for our phones) when I'm blogging like a mad pig. Just put the "Röyksopp - Melody A.M" music on. Its beats drive my mind into a wild smoothness. Most of these blogs have a fancy logo. Mine will be up soon. Must, just figure it out. But I will. Peasy when you are PC keen. Evidently in May it will be 5 months since I gave up smoking fucking cigs. I did not enjoy it as much as I did smoking weed you see? Far more enjoyable to get some sort of a, side effect... Something trippy like that. The logo..........?

AIDS. Lol :)

My friend and Life-long Frisbee partner (that sounds gay). My fellow droog went for an AIDS test today. Well, he got his results about 20 mins ago. Clean as a newborn, his words. That bodes well. AIDS is a shitty disease and it takes weeks of showering and eating African potatoes to cure (citation needed). That, is a joke. If you get the AIDS you might as well ride the silver shotgun express and paint the walls with your disease. Always use condoms boys. And if you are bare backing a strange lady, just screw safely. Unless you have a cut on your willy, which mixes with her saliva and Jesus-H , then there is no escaping it.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R, shadow of Chernobyl is the latest game to be polished off by me. I would say that takes my running total to 1000 games finished plus/minus. More then 20 years I've been playing games. If you think 1000 is impossible to reach then you are a child of the 90's and not the 80's. Back in the 80's a game could be finished in 10 mins (or R5 rand in coins for the arcade machine) enabling you to level a playing field of machines at N1 City. Writing this blog is so cathartic. Like taking a meaty shit onto the fucking internet itself. In a couple of mins my mummy dearest is going to her Jewish Studies course and then I'm going to roll a smooth and skinny joint. Its white layer barely containing the THC pollen wrapped inside itself.

Fuck there she goes. J time.

Fuck it

Being a passive-aggressive person is a real challenge. It ranks right up there with self-mutilation and castration in terms of simplicity and lifestyle choices. If you want to know what it is about... then try to imagine being constantly angry for no reason at all. Even when you are happy you are mad depro. When you are sad you constantly think about suicide but being passive-aggressive you are too scared to really go through with it. I feel psychotic almost. I have all the semblance of a normal life, a girlfriend, good friends, a R60 a week drug habit and a smashing PC for its age. But it's not enough. I lost my job 4 months ago thanks to a CUNT of a boss. He was an aggressive fucker from Durban. Bertie Schamrel. Bertie cock sucking, dick licking man-ass pounding Schamrel. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck you, you mad cunt. I had a very cushy job with him but it was pure fear and loathing in Cape Town it was. Compliant after complaint. Pure aggression which folded me into a paper crane of sympathy and passive allure. It was highly unpleasant. Alan is coming over now; we are going to watch SP (south park) and veg out.

This is the pic that would not upload. I do all my posts from word. Jesus titty twisting christ I hate complications.

A Little info

Name: Steve, a man of 27 with no regard for sanity.

Location: Plumstead, inside Cape Town.

Photo: I'm in the middle. These two are my friends.

Food: Anything crispy or cheesy. Or both.

Smoke: Only the ganj my droogs. Cigs murder you like disco.

Work: Retired (unemployed really)

Girlfriend: Yes

Other girlfriends: No

Status: Currently Drunk

Other info: I can be hired as a very good manwhore. Terms and conditions apply*

 

*no gays.

Lol

Jesus, this is strong beer. Drinking 2 in the afternoon is fun.

One Note Song

The cheese festival is on Saturday. There will not be weed though. Getting high on wine is not the same. But I'm going to try. I'm going to try. Later on is my mommy's birthday party at the Sugarloaf cafe. Having a smooth and quiet draft, as my friend Alan would say.

Test

This is how you test a blog motherfuckers.